not so alone after all

i had a pretty full social calendar in hawaii.  because i grew up there, i had all sorts of friends.  family friends.  childhood friends.  high school friends.  college friends.  best friends.  friends with babies.  church friends.  former work friends.  you get the picture.  when i decided to move to california for the year, i thought that's what i'd be giving up.  friends.

i have friends here.  just not many.  and most of them, except one (and i am so thankful for her), lives an hour or more away from me.  and they are busy doing their thing.  i'm sure they'd visit if i really asked them to, but i've decided not to ask.  why?  because i don't plan on reciprocating and driving up to see them.  it's not that they aren't worth it.  they totally are worth the drive.  it's just that i have a baby with me all day who doesn't like her car seat.  strapping her in, crying, for 20 minutes might be ok.  but i'm not willing to do it for an hour there and back.

and because i'm not willing to drive up there, i don't want to make people drive to see me.  having decided this, i accepted that i'd spend a lot of alone time.  but it's turned out to be a little different than i thought.  in a good way.

first, my mom.  we've always been more like sisters.  she had me fairly young, and she's pretty liberal minded.  we are great companions.  but i expected her to working all the time.   of course i didn't factor in her pull towards her grandchildren.  she's working less hours, which means there are lots of times when it's just her and me out to a yummy lunch while natalie naps in her stroller.

then there's my one lone friend who lives in the area.  she's amazing, we'll call her C.  C will play rough and tumble with noah and take natalie from me if i need to free up my hands.  she's also great to laugh with.  she works, which is why i thought i wouldn't see much of her.  especially because she has a great boyfriend, and i wouldn't blame her if she wanted to eat out and see movies with this great boyfriend during her time away from work.  but no.  she's somehow over here often, hanging out, being a buddy.

then there are my cousins and their wives.  my family started out with just my younger brother and i.  we'd spend the summers in korea at my eemo's (maternal aunt) house.  she had 4 boys.  when i was 12, all 4 boys came to live with us in hawaii, while me eemo and uncle stayed in korea.  that meant we had a total of 6 kids in the house, and i was the only girl.  currently three of those four male cousins live within 2 miles from my parent's home.  they've all married wonderful unnis and are having babies.  they all work.  but weekends are filled with visits to each other's homes where the children can run around in one big mob while we watch dvds and talk.

that still left my weekday mornings pretty quiet.  which i actually didn't mind because i'm an introvert who likes to spend some time just BEING alone.  but then, one of my cousin's wives invited me to a gymboree free play session.  and somehow the mom of the cutest little boy in the room and i made eye contact and now i have a playdate planned this week.  i have a good feeling about her.

side note:  i'm finding it really interesting to observe how women/moms from korea interact with one another.  i may look full korean, but i am concluding that i am mostly american by the way i'm totally oblivious to the subtle social rules of mommyhood.  this would be a good post of kimchi mamas, but let's just say that there's some sort of weird sorting by class that everyone adheres to.  and no one is willing to even make your acquaintance until they can figure out what class you're in and whether you'll fit in with them.  so interesting, i tell ya.